Confronting Prejudice

I do not often encounter homophobia.  In fact, in the 34 plus years I’ve been out of the closet, I can count the number of times I’ve had homophobic behavior directed at me personally on one hand.  I put this down to three reasons:  I can “pass” for straight and am fairly bulky in size, so few overt homophobes see me as prey and if they do would think twice about attacking me.  I’ve been out to my family, friends, and coworkers and they have the good sense and discretion not to say anything inappropriate – even if they may think it.  Not least, I believe society in general has moved forward and most people know it’s not in good taste to make negative comments about any minority group – at least in a public setting. 

Today was an exception.

I was at my local Honda dealership having maintenance done on my HR-V.  I spent most of my time in the waiting area catching up on last night’s Mr. Robot.  After that was over, I removed my earbuds and browsed Facebook while the news played on a nearby screen.  A story about the recent Hallmark controversy aired.  And the three women who’d been chattering away had a new subject to gripe about, with remarks like “They put this stuff on TV like it’s normal”, “it’s not right”, and the like.  I sat in my chair, pretending to look at my phone while doing a slow burn – if they looked at me, they would have noticed my cheeks turning red, because I could feel it. 

I stood up, sauntered over to the other side of the waiting area, and had a seat behind a barrier where we couldn’t see each other.  I texted my husband about the incident.  Then I went back to playing on my phone. 

A few minutes later, the service employee told me my car was ready.  As I was walking by the three women, I said in a voice probably audible in the next suburb “I’ll be right there, I just have to text my HUSBAND and ask him to start dinner” casting them a reproachful look.  They looked my way and it was clear I got my message through.

Prejudice of all kinds is everywhere.  We’ve seen it in recent photos from the Army-Navy football game.  We hear unrelenting bile about the disabled, Latinos, and Muslims coming from the mouth of President Trump.  We see it in campaigns driven by phony groups like One Million Moms (which is actually the work of one person and has only 1,200 followers on Twitter).  I saw it in South Euclid over the past two years perpetrated by the bigots opposed to the anti-discrimination ordinance.  Whatever one thinks of racism versus religious prejudice versus homophobia – there is no justification for either and they are all wrong.  The United States does not prosecute for thought crimes.  But if you have such bigoted thoughts, you should have the good sense to confine them to your own home.  That’s the most practical way for society to function as smoothly as possible.  Freedom needn’t equal anarchy. 

When we encounter prejudice of any kind - whether it’s online, in the media, or in our everyday lives – we must confront it.