Virtual Civic Duty in the Age of Social Media

Social media is a conundrum of the early-21^st century, just as AI is becoming the conundrum for the mid-21^st century.

Some use social media to reveal themselves; others use it to conceal themselves.

When it comes to social media, I miss good old Myspace.  It seemed so benevolent and harmless.  Facebook effectively reduced Myspace to virtual irrelevance and devolved from a way to share vacation photos and recipes to arguing about everything from politics to conspiracies to the plotlines of various Star Trek incarnations.  The second leg of the Meta tripod, Instagram, is more photo oriented and increasingly littered with thirst-traps.  That platform has been subject to substantial and well-documented issues with child exploitation.  Then there is Meta’s newest leg, Threads.  Threads was supposed to be Instagram, but with text – but its engagement algorithms often seem to reward outrage.  Unless one manages one’s feed very carefully, Meta is a cesspool of clickbait, misinformation, and general toxicity.

Moderation on Meta is almost nil, and the little that exists is often faulty.  I once posted a Facebook livesteam of myself playing piano works by Eric Satie and was dinged for copyright against another person’s recording – even though the performances were radically different and my upright piano was noticeably out of tune.

In 2011, a different kind of social app emerged in the United States, Nextdoor.  Unlike Facebook, Nextdoor is geographically based.  Accounts are grouped into neighborhoods, which gives account holders a focused way to follow localized alerts (like missing pets), ask for references on things like home repair, or raise concerns about various issues.  In some cases, Nextdoor has been quite helpful.  I found my landscaper via Nextdoor.  We adopted our dog Brownie from a Nextdoor member who needed to rehome him. 

The moderation works differently as well.  Active, guideline abiding members are invited to become part of the review team, who can vote to Keep, Maybe remove, or Remove posts/comments that have been reported as violating Nextdoor guidelines.  In due time I was invited to join the review team.  I’ve never met or even exchanged messages with any of my fellow review team members (although I’ve received a few angry messages from people who didn’t like how I voted).

There are several reasons a post or comment may be reported.  The reporting may be done automatically, triggered by certain words or phrases – indeed, there are words and phrases so egregious offensive the post/comment will be automatically rejected.  But most reporting is done by individual account holders.  My impression is that a relatively small group of members submit the majority of reports.  Among those are members who selectively cherry pick political comments that disagree with their own – citing them as “national politics or religion,” which are not supposed to be discussed outside of dedicated groups.  There is even a member with multiple “sockpuppets” who zealously reports everything he sees as the slightest infraction.  Here is the conundrum: What if the post is from a news source, such as Cleveland.com or a local news channel, and concerns a national or international issue?  These posts are sponsored and taking them down is next to impossible.  Why would we censor comments about a national/international story when the story itself invites comments about that story?  This is an example where the guidelines are open to interpretation.

Interpretation also comes into play when it comes to posts or comments reported as Spam or possible fraud.  There is a particular member, a slight acquaintance of mine, who over-posts – whining about every aspect of modern life she seems ill-equipped to deal with.  This may be annoying, but it does not meet Next Door’s definition of Spam, so I generally vote to keep her posts and comments.

Selfies are not spam.  Thirst traps are against guidelines and I vote to remove them.  Someone who is verifiably local and offering a legitimate service does not constitute spam.  But an account which repeatedly drops the same information with a non-local phone number for a panoply of services, from plumbing to electric, is likely a referral service from out of state - and that’s spam.

Then there are those account holders who live to air their prejudices.  These rear their heads most often when a controversial issue makes the news.  Their posts are often promptly removed via automation – meaning the review team doesn’t even vote on them.  As often as not, the account holder reposts the same content complaining about the “liberal crybabies” who removed the offending post.

This all begs the question: “Hank, why do you perform a job for which you aren’t paid and almost never thanked?”  The only answers I can find for that point to two ingrained aspects of my character: my Advocate personality and my deep ties to the local community – I’ve lived in this area for 47 of my 59 years.  Either that or I’m a glutton for punishment.

2025 in Review

2025 was a year filled with challenges and frustrations, yet with progress on the personal front.

January was a particularly difficult month.  First, the inauguration of Donald Trump and his immediate implementation of Project 2025, which he said he knew nothing of and would never put into action.  As usual, Trump lied and while his lackeys help carry out his perverted agenda, his supporters are either pleased with the turn of events or clueless as to the implications, as those of us with historical knowledge witness the rise of fascism in the United States.  Second, our furnace died during a cold snap.  This necessitated an expensive replacement.  The flip-side is that our natural gas usage has dropped as the new heater is far more efficient.  It’s also quieter.  Third, we encountered some major plumbing issues with our bathroom which required cutting into the living room ceiling to address.  This was not only disfiguring to the ceiling, but it was also expensive.  The good news is that the bathroom is now in the best condition it’s been in since we bought our house in 2008.

The new bathtub drain as seen from the living room. The hole has since been patched.

Later in the year, we also decided on something we’d been putting off for years: getting the ductwork cleaned.  Having peered into the vents and cold air returns, I knew they hadn’t been cleaned recently – it’s possible they were never cleaned from the time the house was built in 1941. The before and after difference was striking not just in the reduction of dust, but in furnace efficiency.  My sinuses appreciated the change as well.  

In February, Daniel and I were able to get away from the toxic atmosphere of the United States for a week in Spain, a country which survived nearly 40 years of fascism.  The trip was memorable enough that it inspired a new composition. 

Outside Sagrada Familia

In March, we returned to Daniel’s native Puerto Rico for the first time since 2013.  It was a lovely trip and, in many ways, was like stepping back in time.  We visited three shopping malls while there, and all three places were busy and cheerful as if we’d suddenly found ourselves in the 1980s. 

A few snaps from Daniel's hometown, Aguadilla.

The food court of Plaza Las Américas Mall.

Our summer was fairly uneventful until September, when we took a quick trip to Minnesota to spend a weekend at the Mall of America.  As with the malls in Puerto Rico, the MoA was active and entertaining – although we didn’t wind up buying much.

At the Museum of Illusions in the Mall of America.

November marked some interesting developments.  Trump and the GOP lost nearly every election.  Although it was an off-year election and the impact was minimal, it’s a hopeful harbinger for 2026.  While on vacation in Palm Springs, we learned that the Supreme Court had rejected the appeal from that lunatic, Kim Davis, meaning marriage equality is safe – at least for now. 

Some snaps from our time in Palm Springs.

 

Throughout the year, our dog Brownie continued to mature and mellow.  He still has his zoomie moments and suffers from separation anxiety.  But several trips to Camp Bow Wow have shown him to be very well-socialized.

Our Brownie...

We attended too many concerts to recount individually.  The most interesting ones are recounted in this blog.  My purchases of recorded music slowed to a crawl, in part thanks to the downsizing of Sony Classical – a mere shadow of what was once a formidable label.  I’ll have more thoughts on that in a future post. 

The greatest highlight of this year was making contact, thanks to my brother Robert, with our uncle John – who, to the best of my knowledge, I’d never met.  John, a former Naval officer, is the last surviving member from my father’s generation of the family and has been a font of information on our history.  He’s also an utterly charming gentleman and a delight to spend time with.

With my brother Rob and our uncle John.

John in his Navy days.  

He eventually rose to the rank of Lieutenant Commander

 and served on the USS O'Bannon

I continued the quest I began in earnest in 2021: getting myself into better shape.  After initially hitting a plateau, my weight is once again headed in the right direction – downward.  In November my doctor gave me a clean bill of health: vitals, blood work, all where they should be, although he advised me to try and lose those last 15 pounds. 

Despite the good health news, I did something this year I’ve wanted to get done for quite some time: making my final arrangements.  The helpful staff at Lakeview Cemetery made everything easy: I’ll be cremated and my ashes placed there near my mother’s grave.  I’ve even purchased a headstone.

Planning one's own interment may seem heavy. But it was a pleasure to work with Lakeview Cemetery Memorial Advisor (and fellow Brush High School alum) Petronilla Ragland.

When I tell people about about making my final arrangements, I get the oddest reactions.  But I have a realistic and unsentimental view of death: it’s the one thing that we all have in common.  From personal experience I know what it’s like when a loved one dies unexpectedly.  The survivors find themselves having to make decisions about which they may have varying degrees of confidence.  Did their loved one want this, or another alternative?  Embalming or cremation?  A formal funeral service or an informal celebration of life?  What kind of burial?  What kind of marker did they want?  What, if any, religious symbols?  Last, but not least: How to pay for it?  By making these decisions myself and paying in advance, I’ve relieved my loved ones of the burden of making those decisions, and of the cost.  Further, I have some control over the process while I’m alive – and the legality of what I’ve stipulated will remain in force after I’m dead.  Naturally, I hope the need to carry out these plans won’t come for quite some time.

See you around in 2026.

 

Unwelcome reminders of my past

Oh, the unwanted calls and texts we receive in this age of uninterrupted connectivity.  It has gotten to the point that, during working hours, my mobile phone is set to ignore alerts from all except a few selected parties: co-workers, family members, and a few close friends.

 

There have been a number of entities who have disrupted my peace of mind.  For example, over the past 20 years, I have received occasional messages from someone with whom I had a minor friendship back in the 1980s.  During the period when I lived in New England, I was the assistant manager, and then the manager, of the bookstore at a small liberal arts college.  He was a student there and used to hang out at the store because he fancied himself a budding literary genius.  In reality, he was one of many self-absorbed, unfocused young people who made up the student body.  My clearest recollection was that he had a propensity for dressing in all-black clothing, leading a friend of mine to dub him “Johnny Cash.” 

 

At one point, he was dating an unattractive young woman of uncertain sexuality who, through a series of unfortunate events, briefly became my roommate.  During that period, she told me and others her father had died when he was very much alive, declared herself a lesbian, broke up with her boyfriend (the annoyer in question), then threatened to “retaliate” against said ex-boyfriend by cutting off his penis because he had the temerity to date someone else a few months after they had broken up.  Then, she proceeded to rack up a phone bill in the amount of $537 by calling lesbian sex lines – as the phone was in my name, I got stuck with it when she suddenly moved out.

 

In other words, these two were examples of immaturity, self-absorption, and unnecessary drama.  

 

The female and I have thankfully had no contact in well over 30 years.  The male pops up now and then.  About 20 years ago, I was driving to work when I suddenly heard his voice on the local NPR station being interviewed about a local art exhibition he was promoting.  I told an artist friend of mine about it, and he cackled “That show is a big joke.”  Occasionally, he has submitted comments on this very blog.  These interactions briefly entered and swiftly exited my conscious life.  Then, during business hours on September 19, his call went directly to my voicemail and was followed by a text – both unseen by me until my work day was over.  “Him, again?”  I took advantage of modern technology and blocked his number.  Hopefully, he will take the hint this time.  If not, then he may recognize himself in this blog entry.  

Brownie, Daniel, and me – a balancing act

Daniel and I have been a couple for over 18 years and married for nearly 14 years.  With time we have gained perspective on our needs and how we think – both as individuals and collectively.  What I have learned during my previous relationships, and even more in this one, is that for the relationship to succeed both parties must be aware of the other person’s needs and how one’s own actions affect the other person.  Truly, this applies not just to romantic relationships, but to professional relationships and friendships.

Anyone who believes that either Danny or I “wears the pants” in our relationship is sorely mistaken.  We both wear the pants both figuratively and literally – in fact, we’ve even accidentally worn each other’s pants.  Over the last few years, we have agreed to extend to each other mutual and reciprocal veto power.  It’s a power we each use sparingly.  I sometimes wish I’d vetoed a trip we took a couple years ago that led to a period of stress which is still impacting us.  But hindsight is seldom actually 20/20, so it’s difficult to know what our lives would be like if we hadn’t taken the trip in question. 

I recently reminded Danny that he had veto power and should use it if he thought necessary.  Early this month, I saw a post on Next Door from a woman who needed to rehome her eight-month old puppy.  It was a fairly typical scenario: she had a dog, adopted another partly to keep that dog company, but between the two dogs and two children, it became too much.  The resemblance between this dog, Brownie, and our dog Mason, was so striking that it took my breath away.  I told Daniel about it and he was skeptical about adopting another dog – especially a youngster who would need training, further vaccinations, neutering and microchipping.  I countered that, as we were making more money than when we adopted Mason and had recently paid off our mortgage, we had the income.  So, Daniel reluctantly said we could at least meet Brownie. 

The next day, we met with Brownie in a neutral setting.  I immediately noticed how well he got along with the other dog, a Pomeranian.  He was very friendly, and typical of many puppies, has yet to learn not to jump on new human acquaintances.  After a few minutes, I pulled Daniel aside.  As we discussed whether to adopt Brownie, I advised him that if he wanted to veto getting a dog, then there would be no hard feelings on my part.  He thought about it for a moment, then gave his consent.  I spoke to the lady and agreed to adopt Brownie and pay the modest rehoming fee she wanted, provided she would share his medical records.  She agreed, texted me the records, and offered his crate as well. 

Top: Mason. Bottom: Brownie. 

The resemblance is striking.

Since then, Brownie has become accustomed to the two of us and we to him.  The first week was a litany of accidents.  But he learned the rules of the house and by the end of that week, we even took him camping with us.  Since then, we've taken him to a restaurant with an outdoor patio and a family member's birthday party.  For a pup of his age, he’s very well socialized.  He had his first visit with our local veterinarian where, after the usual lab tests, he was pronounced “perfect.”   Brownie does not have the confidence that Mason had at his age and he suffers from separation anxiety.  But he’s learning the rules of the house, has dramatically improved on his potty training, and is learning the usual commands of “sit,” “lay down,” and leash manners.  Most important, the bond between Brownie his two humans is strengthening with each day – at times you can feel the Oxytocin flowing.    

Brownie at home with us.

Brownie partying with Daniel's family.

There are the usual stresses with introducing a new element into the household.  But Danny & I communicate our needs with each other, support each other’s quest to continually improve ourselves, check ourselves and each other for shortcomings.  Our mutual and reciprocal veto power is coupled with the wisdom to use it sparingly and only when absolutely necessary. 

Anyone who tries to come between us, who tries to play one of us against the other, does to at their own peril.  Brownie is already learning that lesson.  Spart pup.

Sunk Costs in Business, in Defense, and in Relationships

“In economics and business decision-making, a sunk cost (also known as retrospective cost) is a cost that has already been incurred and cannot be recovered.”  A succinct description from Wikipedia. 

 

History is full of investments that were kept going longer than they should have due to the costs already incurred. 

 

Concorde is one.  At a certain point, the British and French governments realized that they would never recoup their investments in commercial supersonic transport.  Politics and the prospect of elected officials having mud on their collective face for financing the project with taxpayer money prevented those governments from abandoning the project.  While Concorde eventually made money for British Airways and Air France, the taxpayers never recouped their investment and the benefits of Concorde were enjoyed exclusively by the wealthy.  The environmental impact included egregious noise pollution and ozone-depletion.  Concorde flights were abandoned after three decades.  While there are very tentative hopes for a return to commercial supersonic transport, they are unlikely to come to fruition anytime soon – and if they do, will doubtless be enjoyed only by the wealthy.

 

The United States Navy’s littoral combat ship program is another example.  As someone from a Navy family, I’ve followed developments closely.  But anyone who even casually follows military news knows the problems with the Freedom class and Independence class littoral ships: Engine maintenance problems, a transmission design defect, hull cracks, corrosion problems, very limited life expectancy – about 10 years, which is not a good return on investment. After the first two ships of the Independence class were built and tested, the Navy issued a report that the ships were not performing as expected and that further construction of this class should be abandoned. After all, as Franklin Roosevelt said “It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another.” The ships are not working - cut the Navy's losses and move on. Congress and Senate overrode the Navy’s recommendations and the authors of the report saw their Naval careers ruined.  16 Freedom class and 19 Independence class ships have been built or are in process.  The politicians who were pushing for more Freedom and Independence class ships to be built had received large contributions from, you guessed it, the defense contractors who were building the ships. Meanwhile, many who’ve had to serve on these ships have quipped that the LCR in the registry number stands for “Little Crappy Ship.”  I personally heard a midshipman utter that phrase when I recently visited one such ship. 

 

Then there are the investments one makes in loved ones that, for whatever reason, don’t yield a return.

 

Life is a continuous series of investments. 

 

Investments can be financial, physical, or emotional.

 

Our lives start, hopefully, with responsible parents who invest in us by ensuring we are healthy: that we receive good nutrition and medical care, including vaccinations. 

 

As we mature we begin to invest in ourselves: by educating ourselves, eating healthy, getting exercise, avoiding unhealthy vices.

 

As adults we invest financially: in our homes, by starting a business, by purchasing stocks.

 

We invest in loved ones by helping them financially or emotionally - often believing in them when few others do.

 

Helping empower loved ones so they can make the most of themselves is an investment.  Providing assistance without expecting them to try and improve their own lot is charity.

 

Some investments yield positive outcomes, some do not.  There is no reward without risk.

 

As with financial investments, there comes a time to assess one’s investments in a loved one.  It can be painful to admit that the investment is not yielding positive results.  But when one accepts this, we must face our own disappointment, and decide whether to keep investing – hoping things will turn around and that it will have been worth the “sunk cost” – or to cut our emotional and/or financial losses, and move on.